I feel like a recurring theme in my blog posts is my need and desire to be present to where I am and what I'm doing. In past entries, I've focused on the need to be present in Nicaragua instead of being mentally in Houston, but I think that my biggest obstacle to presence isn't location. Instead, I think it's the fact that I constantly overanalyze everything and try to think 10 steps ahead of where I am. I like to know what's coming next and be looking forward to it - and don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I'm a planner and that is never going to change about me. But sometimes, I need to just recognize the beauty in the present time instead of preparing for beauty in the future.
I have moments where this is easier for me than others. This past weekend, for some reason, I just soaked in the beauty that was presented to me in small moments throughout very normal experiences. On Friday, I went over to a family's house to help them with some English, and ended up staying for 2.5 hours and just chatting. One of their extended family members who was there asked me a ton of questions about spaceflight and orbital mechanics, and things I hadn't really had a reason to think about in a long time. For the record, even with a very good grasp on orbital mechanics, it's really hard to explain it in Spanish!
Saturday, I took a bus to one of the malls in Managua to buy more notebooks for our kids English class. I really enjoy the buses here, even though they are fairly run down and always about 3 times as crowded as they probably should be. For me, the buses are a great way to see a cross-section of life here in Nicaragua. There's always such a variety of people, and on the ride across the city, it's impossible not to learn a little bit more about what life is really like. On my way back, I decided to get off at the community and go hang out with community members for a while. As I walked from the main road back to my friend Dayana's house, I passed a birthday birthday for an 8-year-old, where 10-15 kids were having fun with music and a pinata. After stopping to talk to them for a while, their smiles and laughs were contagious. After sitting and visiting with Dayana and her mom Lorena, I walked back out to the road to grab a ride home. On the way, another 8 year old from my English class, Axel, stopped me to ask me some questions and to ask me to say hi to my housemates for him. As I walked down a dirt road in the middle of a small community in Nicaragua, and Axel shouted another question down at me from halfway down the road, I felt an overwhelming sense of being in the right place. I can't exactly explain why - maybe it was how much time I'd spent in the community on Friday and Saturday, or maybe it was because the weather was nice for the first time in a while, or maybe it was because, for just a moment, I wasn't thinking about what would come next.
Sunday morning, I left the house at 6:15am to walk to church for 7am Mass. It was a beautiful morning, and the temperature was perfect. Besides the rooster who crowed right into my ear as I walked past (thanks, rooster, but I promise I was awake), it was a peaceful walk and a good time to reflect. I ended up walking the last little bit with one of the men who plays music at Mass each week, and it was nice to get to chat with him. I had never actually met him before, and yet he was extremely friendly and welcoming as we walked together. It was another reminder of how amazing the community I have the priviledge to work with is.
The best way that I can say "thank you" for the gift of being here is to live each day in the present and to recognize those small blessings which are EVERYWHERE each day. As important as it is to have a long-term plan, it's equally important to actually LIVE the plan for me in each day and in each moment - and recognize, even when it's not always clear, that I really am exactly where I'm supposed to be for this moment of God's plan for me.
Welcome to wherever you are,
this is your life, you made it this far.
Welcome, you gotta believe
that right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.
- Bon Jovi
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